So many times I have been broken before the Lord. I’ve felt helpless, like he would never answer me and things would never change. I’ve dealt with doubts and abundant questions. God, do you just not care? Are you even real? Yeah, we’ve all had those kinds of questions in the midst of our pain.
During our trials, buried in brokenness, God offers us something we could never gain from the world. He actually says to consider the trials we go through as an opportunity for pure joy! Every trial is actually making us more and more confident in God. Our faith is considered a shield in Ephesians 6, and when we go through trials, our shield is tested. Before soldiers go into war, their armor and equipment must be tested and proven reliable. Same is true with our faith. God will test and prove our faith through trials, making us ready and able to endure through the next trials we experience. The question is not whether we will encounter trials, because we know that is inevitable while we are alive on this earth. The question is, what will I do in response to my trials? Will I choose to worship God and receive His pure and perfect joy? Or, will I choose to sulk in my circumstance and believe the lie that there is no hope? Today, I’m choosing to allow God to turn my mourning into dancing, my sorrow into joy. And this is all because I choose to worship through my brokenness and trials. I know that through my brokenness, God’s glory is allowed to shine through in an even greater way, and that is what I desire. God, let worship and trust be my first response to every trial and test. I want You to have the glory.
Read: Psalm 22
In this psalm, David is so overwhelmed and discouraged that he believes God is not listening and has forsaken him. Is this not how I feel so many times when I have cried out to the Lord? God, where are you? Why am I going through this? Why do I feel this way and you’re not helping me? I think all these different things and am left discouraged sometimes because I don’t have the answer. And as I read the psalm, I thought, “God, if even David thought you abandoned him and you weren’t answering him, will you also maybe not answer me as well?” I don’t know why God isn’t answering the way I expect him to. I don’t know why I doubt and fear and why it seems like he’s not near. It’s in these moments that my faith is tested and I have a choice. David also had a choice in those dark moments. He could continue to sulk in his circumstance and believe the lies that God wasn’t listening or wasn’t there with him, or he could take a risk and hold onto the little hope that he had, which was in the Lord’s rescuing power. The hope of his word that says if I seek I will find and that he never leaves me or forsakes me. I may be experiencing all kinds of inner turmoil, but because I have that little bit of hope, or that little mustard seed sized faith, I can continue to say, “YET you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.” He is holy, meaning he is set apart, he is not like humans who say one thing and do another, he cant do wrong, he can’t break his promises, and he will answer. And when he who is holy is enthroned in my life upon my sacrificial praise, nothing else can come from this except goodness, life, and joy. When I am bowed low before him, broken, He is drawn to me and not repelled from me. When my eyes and my heart is set upon him and not my circumstance or issue, I remember who he is and that I can trust him. Then when I finally choose to trust, he comes to my rescue. He is faithful. Be encouraged today. Put your hope in God. He will never fail you.
Psalm 22:24 “For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help.”
If rejection and insecurity are in my heart, I will never receive people’s love…or I will never believe they really do love me, no matter how much I am told. I will be swayed by circumstances and be offended because of what i think others should say or do. I must realize first and foremost who I am in Jesus, and that my identity lies in him and not myself or my friends or what I do or where I go. I am special because I am a child of God, not because my friends tell me I’m special or want to hang out with me, or because I have this or that talent, or because I am a part of this certain group. It is in knowing Jesus that I am secure, that I am loved, and until I know that truth, I will never be fully whole or secure. It is in the fact that I am His kid that makes me special. And what does that mean if I don’t know who my Dad is? I’ve got to know my Father if I want to know how huge of a deal is that I am his child. Seek him first and all the issues of insecurity and identity will work themselves out.
AnonymousLadies, it’s nice and great to look beautiful on the outside, but don’t rely on that kind of beauty, because it will fade. Let the inner beauty of your intimacy with Christ shine for the world to see, because that’s the beauty that lasts.
Another year has passed and I think this is probably the bajillionth time that I’ve said “wow, this year passed SO fast.” It passes fast every year, so this year I want to grow more, love more, pray more, trust more, give more, & get as much out of it as I can because you can’t get time back after it’s gone.Things have to be different.
This year was really amazing, let me tell you. I got to go to Haiti & lead worship there, start my third year of internship, continue earning my degree at King’s University, have a job (& been there for over three years!), lead worship at The Stadium, main services, kid’s church, and started leading worship every two weeks in Galt as well. I formed some really good, solid friendships as well, which I’m very thankful for. I have great pastors and leaders in my life that believe in me and push me to reach my potential, as well as a great intern family. Can’t forget that I have an amazing, loving, generous family!
I’m looking forward to many aspects of 2011.
I will be ending my three years at the Stadium U internship, which God has used to change my life and mold who I am today. I plan on continuing school with The King’s until I get a degree. I want to continue working with my current employer, and I may try to find a waitressing job later. I’m also so excited that Worth Dying For has expressed that they want me to travel more with them, so I’m definitely STOKED for that! I’m excited to see what God does in our X18 groups as well as at the Stadium. Also really looking forward to Ammunition Conference in February!
Some of my goals for this year (I have quite a few..) are to create a budget each month, keep a checkbook, put away money weekly for a travel fund, start paying off loans, eat healthy, spend more time with family & mentorees, write & blog more (which is why I’m writing this blog, hehe), start giving singing lessons more often, get a new car, see our X18 group grow and our school experience revival, make a weekly schedule to keep myself sane, have a more intense workout routine, get more sleep at night, be a little more organized and neat, write at least one full song monthly, cook a new meal every two weeks, and practice piano consistently. WOW! That’s a lot, and that’s not even all of them, ha ha.
I also have some “I Will” statements for this year that I’ll share with you guys, along with scriptures that aid each statement:
1. I will live in victory. Not by might or strength, but by God’s power. Psalm 44:3-8
2. I will stand for truth, humility, and righteousness.
3. I will serve those around me, and this is what makes me a leader. Matthew 20:26-28
4. I will be still and know He is God. Psalm 46:10
5. I will worship and trust through my trials. Psalm 46:1-4
6. I will renew my mind daily with prayer, worship, and the Word. Romans 12:1-2, Philippians 4:4-8, Hebrews 13:15, 1 John 3:19-20
7. I will love others with my thoughts, words, and actions. Romans 12:9-18, 1 John 3:16-18, 1 John 4:7-21
8. I will submit to the authority in my life, placed there by God, and in this, I am submitting to and honoring God. Romans 13:1-7, 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, Titus 3:1-2, Hebrews 13:17
9. I will work at what is in my hands with all my heart, as serving the Lord. Colossians 3:23-24
10. I will devote myself to prayer. Colossians 4:1, James 5:13, 16; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
11. I will aim to please God in all I do. 1 Thessalonians 2:4
12. I will practice self-control and discipline. Titus 2:11-14, Hebrews 12:11, 1 Peter 1:13, 1 Peter 4:7
13. I will use the Word, worship, and prayer to fight the enemy. Hebrews 4:12, 1 Peter 2:9-10, Jude 20
14. I will live in freedom, receiving God’s mercy when I sin, coming to him confidently and not backing away. Hebrews 4:15-16, Hebrews 9:14, Hebrews 10:19-24, 1 John 1:9
15. I will fix my eyes on Jesus and remember the opposition he faced so that I will not grow weary. Hebrews 12:2-3
16. I will be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19-20
17. I will speak life and not death. James 3:9-11, Proverbs 18:21
18. I will be prepared to answer anyone who asks me the reason for my belief in God. 1 Peter 3:15-16
19. I will humble myself. 1 Peter 5:5-7
20. I will use my gifts to serve others. 1 Peter 4:8-11
Hopefully some of these “I will” statements could help you guys as well as the scriptures I wrote next to them. I know that the fact that I wrote out my goals and the “I Will” statements will help me to stick to them more. :) Overall, I know that the grace of God will cover me this year as I abide in Him and aim to be all He’s called me to be. I pray grace will cover you guys as well as you go throughout your year! Until next time (which hopefully will be at least next week, haha)…
Here are some pictures from Justin and Joane CASEY’s wedding! The best wedding I’ve been to! What a beautiful couple!
Hey everyone! Tonight was our last night here in Haiti! It has been such a privilege for me and this team to be able to minister to these Haitians. I am so thankful to God that I was able to go on this trip and that I am leaving changed inside. I knew God had us here for many reasons. I see so much beauty in these people despite the ruin they have experienced and the environment they live in. I am challenged by their faith and strength throughout their loss.
One of the main things that spoke to me during this trip was the faith that these people have. The scriptures that say “blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God” and “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” have become so real in this time. Those who are poor and needy in spirit are BLESSED because they see their utter hopelessness and need for God and therefore will cry out to God and be saved. Those who are filled already with everything don’t realize their need for God. Those who hunger and thirst (have lack) are BLESSED because they also realize they are needy. God responds to hunger. He responds to a thirsty heart. I want to constantly say to God, “I am not satisfied; I am hungry, thirsty, needy for more of you” because it’s in that place of lack and need that we are so blessed with the presence and abundance of God.
Tonight we saw thousands more at the festival and many more receive Christ, receive their physical healing, and many receive the love of Christ through our lives in a simple hug, kiss, or smile. I am so blessed to be able to give the love away that I have received from Christ. It truly changes lives.
I will never forget this trip to Haiti. I will return home changed and challenged to live my Christian life like they did in the book of Acts & throughout the whole New Testament. America, I will see you tomorrow! Mwen Renmen Haiti y Jezi (I love Haiti and Jesus)!
Please pray for us all as we fly back tomorrow morning. Pray for a safe trip and that God would seal what he has done on this trip in our hearts. Love you all! Thank you! Your prayers have made a difference in many lives!
